Getting Cliqueish

“I don’t put people into groups like the jocks, the goths, and the nerds do. I’m a free-thinker. Everyone should be more like me.”

To an extent we all judge others, whether they’re short or tall, large or small, black or white, gay or straight, or any other dichotomies that exist the whole world over, but too often we live in denial. I remember when I was younger I insisted that I never judged anyone, and all that did was lend itself to even more judgmental behavior. If we deny that we judge others, how can we possibly hope to remedy the situation?

As human beings, we tend to spend time around others who are like us. Either they come from the same type of background as we do, they have the same hobbies as we do, or they share the same ideologies we espouse. It’s not often that you see a pair of true opposites who are close friends, and that’s for a reason. Too many people don’t take the time to get to know others who are not fundamentally the same as they are. We are too busy getting cliqueish.

I think about those forms we fill out, you know, the ones that ask for our information. If only more of us would check the “Other” box. Seriously, we identify one way or another, but if we just gave ourselves a chance to think about it we might see that we are giving ourselves short shrift. There are so many more facets to our personalities, to our mentalities, and to our essential selves, that we neglect to see because we’re so busy forcing ourselves into the pre-confined boxes. What I honestly love is when the “Other” box is followed by a line where you can expound upon what truly makes you different, what really helps you to exist outside of those other boxes.

And so cliques form. You’ve seen them. They have their own language. When you first stumble upon them in the wild you can almost will yourself to believe they make sense, but they don’t, except to themselves. Usually these cliques form around the largest thing you have in common, so you don’t ever delve any deeper. That’s not to say that cliques can’t be fulfilling to the people who live inside of them. There is an undeniable connection there. But imagine taking those same people, choosing another facet of their personality, and matching them up with others who share that, then doing it again, and again, and again. There are so many sides to every single human being that it could be endless, and the combinations of connections that could be made is also endless.

I imagine a world like that, where we don’t judge others based on what we see on the outside, when we delve deeper to figure out who people really are, to look at them from all sides and connect on those other levels. A place where we all check the “Other” box and use another whole sheet of paper to explain why we don’t identify with those standard responses. A world where we don’t get cliqueish just because we can, or because it’s comfortable, but where we instead embrace our whole selves and we seek out that difference in others.

But first, we have to accept that we judge others, or nothing will change.

Sam