Month: September 2013

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Street Scene

A solitary streetlamp shines Illuminating an idyllic scene Highlighted by snow angels In place of autumn green A lonely man sits vigil near Possessed of more than melancholy With his head between his hands Hiding what he cannot see A drifting snowflake descends On its way to meet the ground Perfectly proportioned in every way … Continue reading Street Scene

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Pillow Talk

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I guess I’m a side sleeper.

You know how it is when you’re shopping for a new pillow, right? First, you have to determine what type of sleeper you are. It’s crazy all the types that are out there, like side sleepers, back sleepers, and stomach sleepers. For some reason I don’t remember all of that when I was young. I remember it was just all about hardness or softness of the pillow, and every single one of our pillows was hard. I guess hard meant cheaper, but now there are all these ergonomically correct pillows, this memory foam that adjusts itself to your normal pattern of head placement. And those types of pillows are $35 dollars and higher! Wow, I don’t think those cheap, hard pillows did that much damage to my head that I would consider paying that kind of money for one single pillow.

Except, I did buy one of those pillows. Let me explain. Continue reading “Pillow Talk”

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The Flood

They said there’d be rain, and lots of it. They said it would start early and not end for weeks. They said it would be the single largest rainfall we’d ever had. And I laughed. I mean, honestly, who predicts rain in the middle of the dry season except for some absolute lunatics? They even … Continue reading The Flood

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“I’m Supportive, Like a Good Bra”

Photo: LOL.
Don’t leave the key under the mat. Duh.

You know those kinds of people, the ones who always seem ready with a poignant quotable phrase? And you’re ridiculously jealous because the best you could come up with on the spur of the moment is, “Don’t eat yellow snow.” Then you see those memes that make you laugh out loud, even when you don’t want to like them, and you just have to share them, wishing all the while that you were the one who came up with the words for them. It starts to seem like everyone is more creative and witty than you, and you just want to go crawl under a rock somewhere.

Well, let me tell you something: THEY’RE NOT MORE CREATIVE AND WITTY THAN YOU ARE. Sorry for shouting, but it’s important that you hear it loud and clear. They just know the value of good timing and how to steal other people’s material. You see, most of the things you think are spur of the moment aren’t. And most of those people you are jealous of should be jealous of you, because at least you’re honest about not having good ideas. You really shouldn’t eat yellow snow. Indeed. Continue reading ““I’m Supportive, Like a Good Bra””

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I Did What?: My Sordid Job History, Volume 4

Temple University’s Paley Library

Since I was a six-year old runt trying to keep up with my seven-year old superstar sister, I have been reading books, and lots of them. I remember my mother showing me how to tell what grade level the book was for, and I would always go after the ones at least three grade levels above my own. Of course I wouldn’t always know every single meaning to every single word, so I would have my old red Dictionary handy to look them up. If I didn’t understand the definitions I would see my mom about it, and hope she knew. Otherwise, I would have to skip over them. And the glory of those books was that I could have a plethora of them whenever I wanted. Because that was the same year I discovered the library.

From that point on what I wanted to do was work in a library, but I never thought it would be possible. It seemed to me like everyone who worked in a library had to be middle aged or a woman, and I was neither, so I sucked it up and said it wouldn’t happen. Then I grew up and went to college, a place beyond my wildest dreams that had an incredible library of its own. As luck would have it, my mother’s friend worked in the campus library and put in a good word for me. Before I knew it, I was working the job I thought I would never have, a job in the library. Continue reading “I Did What?: My Sordid Job History, Volume 4”