When I was growing up, there weren’t such things as play dates. If you wanted to play with other kids it wasn’t as neatly wrapped up as your mom calling their mom and setting up a time for mutually beneficial social activity. We would go out on the street and see who else was out there. If you wanted to play the same game, it was on. If not, you compromised or went back inside. Simple as that.
So, when my seven-year old asks me if she can have a play date with one of her little friends, I’m about as lost with the concept as I can be, with trying to come up with activities for her and her friends. I rack my brains to come up with ideas for that mutually beneficial social activity, but I’m clueless. Being here is not quite like when I grew up on the streets of Philadelphia. The houses are farther apart, the kids are few and far between, and most play date mates need to either be driven to our house or we need to drive to theirs.
There are rules to play dates that I’ve noticed apply before the date even begins:
5. Try to mix up the friends at each play date. Having one-on-one time with many different types of people can help your child become more well-rounded, get to know others, and adjust to different playing styles and personalities.
4. Have solid activities in mind. Crafts and games are usually winners, but work on sharing and teamwork instead of competition, to avoid conflict.
3. Limit the number of children invited to the play date. Or insist that at least one other parent be there. The more children there are, the more chance something might happen to one of them, or that conflict will break out.
2. Never decide on a play date at the last minute. Having at least a day to plan for how the time will be used is invaluable. If you’re winging it, there’s more chance for conflict and “down time.”
1. Be sure the children actually get along. Sometimes personalities clash, and knowing that ahead of time can help to avoid conflict.
My Lexi needs a lot of focus and structure or conflict can occur, and I know there are a lot of other children like that out there. If you end up with two of them together with no focus or structure, they can get grumpy and completely ruin a play date for themselves and for the other play dater. Always break up activities with snack time to give them a chance to converse with each other about shared interests while they eat, too. You never know when one of those conversation topics can help inspire your next play date activity!
Sam
Sam's Online Journal 