From the time we are born, we hear advice everywhere, from our parents, to our siblings, to other adults, and everyone in-between. Eventually our peers also give us advice, and we tend to call that peer pressure. Funny how when it’s people our age it’s “pressure,” but when it’s from older folks, it’s “wise,” and “sage” advice. Even if they say the exact same thing.
But the point is that everyone has an opinion of how we should live our lives, but the only opinion that should matter is our own. We listen to those others, though, because we trust that somehow they know what they’re talking about; however, we need to filter what will work for us, what we subscribe to, and what won’t, what we don’t. Here are my top 5 tidbits of advice I’ve gleaned throughout the years and made my own:
5. Don’t ever take yourself too seriously.
Too often I know I find myself getting full of myself, thinking I’m something special, and every single time I get dragged back down to earth pretty roughly by one thing or another. It’s only in those times when I’m humble and understand that I’m not the best at everything I do, that I can honestly enjoy who I am, and others can enjoy being around me too. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized this more and more. People who take themselves too seriously just don’t enjoy themselves, and often people are just laughing at them behind their backs, and not being friendly to them. Who wants to be around someone who is serious all the time, who thinks they’re better than you?
4. Never let others define you.
Know who you are. When you know yourself, all the things that make you you, it’s so much harder for others to define you. It’s only when you don’t understand yourself that you let others get inside your head. Too many people shift themselves to fit the ideas that others have of them. I remember in Runaway Bride, when Julia Roberts’ character took her eggs so many different ways depending on how the men she was with at the time took them. I feel like I’ve done that too often in my life. A friend dislikes coffee, so I dislike coffee. My girlfriend smoked, so I smoked. And it wasn’t even peer pressure, because I wasn’t pressured. I just molded myself to fit them, and while it worked well for them, it hurt my ability to comprehend who I really was, and what I really wanted.
3. Treat others the way you want them to treat you.
Ah, the golden rule, but it still rings true all these years later. The problem most people have with it, however, is a simple one, but it happens so often. Too often we don’t know how we would like to be treated because we don’t spend any time actually thinking about it. And I’m not talking about being selfish either, just about being introspective. Write down your thoughts and feelings, or at least take some time to think about them. It’s simple. If you know how you want to be treated, then you are finally able to “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.”
2. Don’t ever assume.
You know the childish refrain: When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me. And it’s funny because it’s pithy. It’s one of those winning phrases that makes people smile because you got them. However, I mix it up a little bit. I tell people: When you assume, you make an ass out of u. And I smile at them. So they finish it: And me. And I tell them, “exactly. That’s what I said.” That’s so true as well, because assuming only makes an ass out of you.
1. Do what truly makes you happy.
Should happiness be the biggest factor in every single decision that you make? Yes, it should. Now, I’m not saying don’t be practical, and don’t do what’s best, because that is also true. But when you’re not happy it transfers to every single thing you do, and to every single person with whom you come in contact. Its importance simply cannot be overstated. I would even venture to say that if you’re happy at a 3:1 ratio, then you’re doing something right. You will work better if you’re happy at your job. You will have a better home life if you’re happy at home. And if you have hobbies that make you happy, that is indeed a bonus. But you have to make time for things that make you happy, that help you improve your disposition. It’s incredible what happiness can do for you and for others around you.
Sam
Sam's Online Journal 
I believe in all five. I am proud to share your esteemed opinion on this matter.
I’m glad too. What would be your top 5, Daryl?
1. never say never.
2. always avoid saying “always.”
3. refrain from complimenting any other female in your spouse’s presence.
4, Give honor where honor is due.
5. Minimize the sarcasm (it comes naturally to me and it is very hard for me to control).
Ah, the sarcasm is a GOOD one!
Giving is so often thought of in terms of things, and advice, but our greatest giving is of our time and kindness, even a little comfort for those who need it. Too often we look on these gifts as unimportant – until we need them.
Maureen, I am so glad you brought that up. We so often forget how important our time is when it can be used to help others, or to just spend with others. And it is so appreciated on both sides. The joy we get from giving of our time is beyond compare. Thanks for the reminder!