Time Was…

Time was on the block when kids just ran wild. There weren’t no adult supervision, weren’t no curfew, weren’t no nothing ‘cept for the kids, their imaginations, and the cars. Oh yes, the cars. See, we pretended those cars were ours on the block, no matter who they really belonged to. When it was afternoon of a weekday, once school was done, or even in summer, we would be out there drawing hopscotch boxes with chalk we found laying around in the street. Or playing jacks with somebody’s old set they found somewhere. Or jumping double-dutch with those old ropes that would cut your skin if they hit you at the right angle. Wooh boy. Those were some days.

And those cars. We would lean on ’em, use ’em as out of bounds areas for our impromptu soccer or stickball games. And when I say soccer, I mean kicking around somebody’s old deflated basketball that wouldn’t hold air no longer. And when I say stickball I mean using a real stick, like either somebody’s broom they stole from their house, or a stick some bigger dude ripped off of one of the few trees on the block. I felt kind of sorry for those cars when we played stickball because we would usually use little rocks we could find on the street or in the grooves of the sidewalk. Sure, weren’t too many people able to hit those little rocks, but the ones that did always did some damage to those cars.

We would all scatter if somebody came down the block, one of those people that could maybe have owned one of them  cars. You know, ‘cuz we knew we was wrong, using them cars, but we didn’t know any other way to have fun. Until cars started getting those alarm systems on the block. I remember the first one that got one of them fancy alarm systems. It was a white car that was parked right in front of our house. Had nice rims and everything, so you knew whoever owned it had some style, a little bit of class. We also wondered what it was even doing on our block that had a crack house at the end.

There was this cat would walk up and down the block like she owned it, an orange and white tabby who liked to sleep on cars, especially ones that were bigger, maybe ‘cuz she could spread out more on their hoods. Well, this white car was just sitting there in front of our house, and the cat was coming from the other side of the street, looking for a place to crash. This cat, she looked up at the car, then she looked over at me as if it was mine. I shook my head no, and I swear that big tabby done hopped right up on that hood like it was a plush feather bed. And the noise that car made when she landed! Wooh boy. That noise I will never forget. It talked.

Now, if you ain’t never heard a talking car before, like none of us on that block had ’til then, you definitely ain’t prepared for it. We ’bout near jumped out of our skins at that voice that said, “Step away from the vehicle. You have fifteen seconds to step away from the vehicle or an alarm will sound.” Now, if you think we was scared by that noise, that cat ’bout near jumped from there to Jersey. She hopped down from the car, which said, “Thank you,” and took off down the block. But that wasn’t over, not by far.

A few minutes later the orange and white cat could be seen practically tiptoeing back to that car, on alert this time for the strange voice. When she was satisfied it wasn’t talking, she eyed it, took a gigantic leap, and landed back on the expansive hood. Two moments later, didn’t that damn thing go off again? You bet it did, but this time the cat was ready for it, and didn’t move a muscle. After about five seconds the voice came back on, saying “Step away from the vehicle. You have ten seconds to step away from the vehicle or an alarm will sound.” After another five seconds — with the cat still laying right in the same spot — it came on one last time. “Step away from the vehicle. You have five seconds to step away from the vehicle or an alarm will sound.”

Five seconds later, that was the loudest alarm we ever heard on the block before or since. That car let loose like it was a bullhorn, loud and obnoxious, and that cat shot about ten feet in the air, flipped over in midair, and slammed onto the concrete, dashing away, not to be seen for a solid week on the block. And us kids, we was laughing and laughing, doubled over on ourselves as that alarm kept cackling in response. It took about a minute of that constant noise until the car finally stopped beeping and said, “Thank you.”

Then we went to go and play some hopscotch.

Sam