July 16, 2008 (8:15 a.m.) – With Charisse
The heat is stifling, I think, as I get out of our red SUV and go around to open the door for Charisse. She doesn’t like it when I play the chivalry card, except in this one thing. I think it’s really about making me do something I don’t like, although how she knows this is the one thing I detest is beyond me. Perhaps she reads my Facebook status updates after all, even though we aren’t “friends.” She just turned thirty-two, and I think she’s finally being confronted with her own mortality, something that happened to me about a year ago, after what we only refer to now as the Subaru incident.
It was an old car, but I don’t think it had anything to do with it. The conditions were icy, but I also think that had a minimal impact. What really happened was due to my new cell phone and a lack of patience on my part. Luckily I was the only one in the car at the time. I had just gotten a text, one that I had been waiting for all that day, so instead of postponing a glance at the display I looked down while making a right turn. Just in time to slide across the lane and hit the car that was solidly in that lane, spinning my car out, slamming up on the sidewalk and crashing into an electrical pole. I was lucky to survive with a concussion and a few broken ribs. And from then on out, Charisse never let me drive by myself.
As I close the door behind my girlfriend, I notice her expanded figure, something I would never tell her for fear of reprisal. She was always the one to obsess over her weight, and I didn’t want to add to it. Especially since she was pregnant, which I thought was an excuse to gain some weight, but not for her. If anything, she has gotten even more fanatical about it. I wonder, not for the first time, if it was a good idea to decide to have a child, because that’s what we did. This was no shocker, but maybe we should have done some more thinking before we made the decision. It was an ultimatum is what it was. She challenged me to basically put up or shut up, especially since I refused to get married, even though we had been together for two years by that point, and if you count the fact that we have had sexual tension since we were young, and that we already have a child together (Aaron is sixteen now). So, I said yes, we would try for another child, because I didn’t want to let her go, not after all I gave up for her.
We walk down the street, me in my plaid shorts that she calls my “old guy” shorts, and she in her jeans that must be making her sweat, but she doesn’t say a word in protest. She says no one should have to look at her spider veins (that I can hardly see, by the way), so she always wears long pants, or at the least capris, whenever we go out. I look at her in my periphery as we approach the doctor’s office, conveniently located on the ground floor of the clinic, and I notice she is starting to get crow’s feet around her eyes. Something else I would never tell her about for fear of her wrath. That’s when it hits me, how large the list has grown of things I could never talk about with her. What was it about her that attracted me in the first place? Not for the first time I contemplate this as she looks my way and I look away. It wouldn’t do to be caught staring, I think, as we are enveloped in the air-conditioned atmosphere of the clinic and I put on my fake smile that is becoming harder to fake.
Sam
Purchase Detours: A Novel by Sam McManus, from Amazon.com.
Sam's Online Journal 
give it up. get her a ring. you’ll be glad you did. (that’s what I think, for what it is worth.)
Just the simple progression of life can be so sad sometimes, don’t you think? Sadness makes great reading in my opinion.
I agree. Now let’s see if people buy into it. 🙂 The novel is sad in places, but as with the progression of life, it also has some happy moments. I’m Sam, btw. And you are?
I don’t care what anybody says, humans are suckers for sob stories. It’s why we love contestants on reality TV shows.
You see…I think that’s what drives me insane about most novels – the progression of the characters as they go about their lives is just not realistic (or the way they deal with situations usually, but that will get me on a rant for days). Life is a bunch of good and bad all mixed in together.
I’m Chelle (or Chellie, whichever). Nice to ‘meet’ you. 🙂
Well, if close friends call you Chellie, then I shall do the same (in the off chance we get to be close friends — read my posts on friendship).
You know, I have noticed that a lot, when characters all seem to have such a charmed life that even the “negative” things aren’t negative to real people. People are so much more rounded and complex than some authors make them out to be. I try to stay true to reality in my writing, and with my characters, and they love to keep me honest too, even if I don’t exactly like them all the time.
My close friends call me a great number of things (Chellepants?), so Chellie would be most welcome, haha. I just got distracted going through some of your posts on friendship.
I agree wholeheartedly with you on what you said. Sometimes I can almost hear characters in books screaming that they wanted more from themselves in their stories. I wonder if it’s because a lot of authors worry about the readers more than the stories. I’ll admit that I had a great many moments when writing, worrying about how things would be taken (touchy subjects and the like). I just had to tell myself that touchy subjects and horrible situations are a fact of life. Also, give me a female main character that has to make a bigger decision than who to pick in a love triangle, and I will be a happy girl indeed.
Both of the series that I’ve written have been fantasy, but I think it’s the way they interact with characters and in situations that’s important. I said in a comment the other day that you can put characters in the most unbelievable scenarios, but if the dialogue and the way that they behave and think is believable…you can believe the story. So that’s what I strive for – to make people believe that something completely fake COULD actually happen. You have to believe in the characters to believe a story, and they have to have more than one layer to be believable. Just like real people.
I too am character driven. Believe in your characters even when you don’t like them as people. Especially when you don’t like them as people. I am a short story writer, or at least I try to style myself as such. And in order to write a short story well in the small space I have, I have to really know the characters and show who they are quickly but efficiently, which I think helps me with character setup for my novels too. You’re right, too, about not thinking about how things will be taken by your readers. That’s on them. You have a duty to the characters first and foremost.
Oh, and don’t ever apologize for reading my writings. Lol. I am so ecstatic you stopped by, Chellepants. 😉
Hahaha. My roommate called me that the other day (and I’ve been sitting here wondering if he’s been calling me that without me realizing for the past 7 years or so).
Anyway.
Characters.
That’s the thing – you have to trust them to get through whatever it is. It might be crazy (further proof of the ‘that crazy lady’ thing), but it’s like what I said…they’re alive enough to live in the world you put them inside of. You might have days where one of your friends is driving you insane, but you still love them, you know?
I don’t know how in the world people manage to write short stories (that’s as foreign a concept to me as poetry writing – or as impossible, I should say). Clearly I need fifty lines to say something that would take most people two. What you were saying is a lot of the reason that I can’t handle reading short stories; I never feel like it’s enough time to get emotionally invested in a character. Or possibly just that the ones I’ve read make it unachievable. It’s awesome that you can do that (or that you concern yourself so much with it) because, to me, that’s the most important thing (characters).
My favorite thing is trying to surprise people. Kind of like a slow revelation – by the time you figure out what’s really going on (or what sort of person a character is), you want to smack yourself in the face for missing all the hints. That makes it fun for me.
I’ve had a lot of conversations with my best friend about the touchy subjects. For me, not putting them in there would almost be a betrayal to … LIFE. I don’t want to sugarcoat life for people who might potentially read my stuff one day. And not putting it in there is like a betrayal to my character’s lives. The world is not candy coated for us when we make our way through it; that’s how we grow and develop as people. Leaving that kind of thing out limits the potential of what you write, I think.
At least for me.
Okay, so no apologizing for reading your blogs. Can I apologize for writing a novel in your comments? Or fifteen of them?
I’m glad that I stopped by too 🙂
You know, I think we connect well. Would you be averse to becoming Facebook friends? It’s okay if you say no. I won’t cry too much. 🙂
Speaking of the touchy subjects, I’m curious. Which one do you think is the touchiest? The one that gets people all up in arms the most? I have my ideas, but I want to know what you think.
Believability of characters, you’re so right about in short stories how most authors of them seem to focus on the setting, or on the situation, and leave the characters as half-beings. It’s difficult, but being as character driven as I am, I spend most of my stories showing you who the character is, and the situation is secondary. Indeed, most times it is a simple vignette where a character is basically being introduced and nothing more. Then you’ve finished reading it and you realize things actually happened as well.
People are not one-dimensional. It’s like when I was at this poetry reading tonight and this guy I’ve known through my wife showed up and saw me perform my poetry. He was astonished because he hadn’t seen that side of me. Everyone has so many different sides, and most people only see one side of it, but you have to show all those sides when you’re writing characters. I have to KNOW the character, flaws and all, so I write them. And I’m glad you write the same way. It’s the only way to write, I agree.
So you have a husband AND a roommate? Oh my. That’s got to be interesting. 😉
And no, you’re not “that crazy lady,” you’re
that crazy cool lady.” Don’t you forget it, especially not while you’re writing novels in my comments. I LOVE it! Ha ha.
I agree. And no, I have no problem with becoming Facebook friends at all. I will send a link to mine to the email on your About page.
I think the biggest touchy subject would depend on the intended audience. I write YA books, so there is plenty of unrealistic, thoughtless killing involved (which could send me on a rant, so I will not go further into the thoughtlessness of it). I think that in our society, we’ve desensitized ourselves to it. So, rape, probably, would be one of the biggest in my opinion. What are your ideas?
Exactly. I think if you just let the characters live their lives and focus on them, the story tells itself. If I wanted to see a tree in my head, I would look at a picture. I want to read books to connect, not even just to people, but to the ideals contained inside of those fake people.
I just read your entry about the poetry reading. It is funny, isn’t it? You always think you have people figured out and then they surprise you. It’s kind of amazing, I think.
Yes, that’s the way I write as well. How can you relate to a person with no flaws whatsoever?
Yes, I have a husband and a roommate, lol (as of about a month and a half ago). It is probably one of the least interesting things in the world. We all sit and play video games together and randomly burst into (horribly out of tune) songs. That seems to be life right now. Could be worse.
Haha, crazy cool lady. I can take that. XD
I think there are many taboo subjects that just raise people’s ire whenever they come across them, and I’ve written about every single one of them. Rape, incest, domestic violence, murder (thoughtful killing, etc.). There are just so many. I would think incest is probably the biggest taboo subject I’ve written about.
As for these video games, which ones do you play? I’m strictly a Nintendo guy, always have been, but I’m curious what other people play. Oh, and I am an aspiring singer… you know, I’ll message you on Facebook. 🙂