Brad Paisley wrote an ultimately beautiful song entitled “Letter to Me,” in which his older self writes a letter to his younger self, giving him encouragement and advice for the next few years until he grows up. I find the song intriguing because it brings to life the concept of “if I knew then what I know now,” and the equally important answer to that question. Would I really change a thing, knowing how my choices all turn out? So many people say they have no regrets, or they do, but they still wouldn’t change a thing, because they like the destination, even if the journey wasn’t all that amazing. I think I would write myself about three things my younger self could choose to change or keep the same.
1. Girls are just as afraid of emotional commitment as guys are. They’re just usually so much better at hiding it behind a facade of acceptance. Just stick with it when it comes to girls you think don’t like you, because right after you give up is when they realize they really do like you. You’re like Aladdin, a diamond in the rough. You know what that means. You’ve seen the movie enough times.
2. You have an amazing personality, even if it is a bit quirky and nerdy. There are many people out there who will appreciate you for it, so don’t try so hard to fit in. You’ll end up fitting in with the wrong people, who won’t help you, but who will hurt you instead. Think about it. If you’re being the person they want you to be, and pushing down your true self, how happy could you be, and how do you know they’re your true friends?
3. It’s not your fault your parents split up. It’s not your fault your parents split up. It’s not your fault your parents split up. Seriously, though. That one will haunt you for a long time, and through a lot of therapy, if you don’t accept the fact right now that their divorce was all about them, not you. You will also save yourself many sleepless nights and a host of tears. They weren’t meant to be together, to stay together, and that’s just all there is to it. You’ll do well to mind my advice there.
I’m not sure if my younger self would even heed the advice, or if I’d ever want him to, though, because like a lot of the people I mentioned above, perhaps changing the journey might mess with the destination. Better the ending you know, versus the one you might end up with instead, even if it might even be more fortuitous in many ways. We are the sum of our parts, but we are also so much more. So I would tell my younger self to just enjoy the ride. It gets better, but don’t discount the journey, even if it seems horrendous at times.
We all float on…
Sam
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