A Second Chance to Make a First Impression?

You’ve heard them say it over and over again. You know them, these people you never see but who obviously have way too much to say about anything and everything. Well, they say that, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression,” and everyone nods their heads and agrees, like the lambs to the slaughter we are. “Yeah, that sounds about right, deep, pithy, profound even.” But do we actually take the time to analyze that statement for any sort of validity it might contain?

So, here’s your assignment: Think about each and every one of your friends. Did you immediately like them the second you saw them? Was it kismet each and every time? “Wow, I’m so glad I happened to find you swimming against the current of this sea mostly filled with lemmings!” Or was it more like, “This guy seems cool, a little quirky, but mostly cool”? Better yet, “This guy is wearing two different shades of pink. Not gonna happen.” Then you found out later, after giving both guys a second look, that you grew to like the second guy much better, and you eventually even lost touch with the first guy. And you can do something like that with each of your friends. Sometimes it takes giving someone a second chance to make a further impression, to either wipe out the memory of the first, or to meld the two together, revealing someone you might even want to spend time with.

“This guy is wearing two different shades of pink. Not gonna happen.”

I think back to my oldest friend (not oldest because of his age, but oldest because of how long he’s known me), and my first impression of him, and it wasn’t a good one. I thought he was uptight, and you know how outgoing and easygoing I am, so I honestly didn’t think we meshed well at all. I don’t subscribe to that opposites attracting bit, in either friendships or relationships. But because I’m equal opportunity I didn’t give up on him, giving him that second chance to make a further impression, and it’s a two-way street. Perhaps he also felt I was too opposite, but he gave me that second chance as well. And I’m glad he did, because I realized on further review that he wasn’t really uptight. He was just shy, and he opened up the more time we spent together. I’m sure he also realized that I wasn’t quite the pompous ass I appeared to be at first (it’s okay, I know I come across that way on first impression. It’s why I care so much about giving others that second chance, because I usually benefit from it too).

If you’re looking for a friendship, a relationship, or something else entirely, it’s important to remember that others are just like us. We don’t show every side of us at the first meeting for fear of scaring off people, because we’re too shy, or for whatever other reasons. Let’s give everyone more than once chance, and then if we still think they’re not quite our speed, at least we didn’t write them off without truly knowing who they were. I mean, some people still aren’t compatible no matter how many impressions they make.

Then it’s time to fish or cut bait. After further review.

Sam