I have to preface this week’s Top 5 by saying how disappointed I am in the basic rules of courtesy that we as a society seem to have forgotten. One thing I loved the most when I was growing up was that I could always expect and appreciate that everyone else was on the same page with etiquette, but that has drastically changed. I’m not even sure why, but here are the five basic rules we need to all remember.
5. Thank-you notes.
When I graduated from high school I received at least 50 presents and/or money from family, friends, and church family. For every single one of those 50 people, I hand wrote a note personally thanking him/her/them for their thoughtfulness. Now, though, I’ve noticed the authentic one-of-a-kind thank you note has become a dinosaur. Either no one sends them out, preferring the thank you phone call, or they use the pre-printed cards with the generic wording and a blank to put in a name. Talk about impersonal. We need to bring back the authentic one-of-a-kind thank you note.
4. Punctuality.
When did we begin being “fashionably” late to job interviews, work, meetings, and time out with friends? It seems like there aren’t many people who take deadlines as firm anymore, or feel like the time they agreed upon is important enough to be there on schedule. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that procrastination is also on the rise. The more people put things off, the more chance they will be late when they finally get around to them. We seriously need to remember that people’s time is valuable, and our time is valuable, so let’s not waste it.
3. Saying “You’re welcome.”
Someone sneezes, and that should set off a chain of events. First, whomever is nearest to the person who sneezed says, “Bless you.” Second, the person who sneezed says, “Thank you.” And lastly, the person who said “Bless you,” should say “You’re welcome.” We, as a society, seem to be stuck after the “Thank you.” Yet, if you think about it, any other time someone says “Thank you,” we are bound to say, “You’re welcome.” Why should that change just because someone sneezed? I say we bring back the “You’re welcome,” so we can help each other complete the cycle.
2. Family dinner.
Yes, these days there are blended families, dysfunctional families, broken families, one-parent homes, and families involving homosexual partners, but the one thing they all have in common is family. Family used to have meaning, a certain connection that could not be denied. And the root of that family connection was spending time together, talking and sharing, in an environment filled with love. Recently, that family time has been eroded, including the common courtesy of sharing at least one meal together. The dinner table has long been the place where that sharing, that familial bond takes place, and yet that table is empty at 6:00 of an evening. We need to bring back the family dinner as one step in the process of returning the family to its place of importance in our lives.
1. Being discreet.
No, I don’t blame Facebook, or Twitter, or Google +, or any other of those social networking sites. It’s like blaming the gun for shooting someone to death. These sites are really just vehicles, and we utilize them to share what shouldn’t be shared. My mother used to say, “Things in the family need to stay in the family.” But by using these vehicles, we aren’t keeping much of anything in the family. We talk about everything that should be private, we post pictures of things that should be private, and we share private information of others close to us without asking them for permission. Yes, these sites make it increasingly easier to share those private thoughts and moments, but they do not make it necessary. We would do well to remember that the next time we feel like posting items that should stay in our minds, in our families, or in our households.
Sam
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